Yes, one should try to let it go in order to move forward and make a marriage work. I am fearful that I am in for another five years of torture.still unstable and dont know where I standmy kids now 23, 18 and 13.sigh. He told me that it was a classmate in his class probably trying to ask a question or something. What makes it more painful is the fact that i have been very sick since july or let me say since his affair started. PS English isn't my first language sorry if I say stuff wrong. She still maintains a friendship with the other guy and this makes me so angry. Its a horrible thing to realize when youve made stupid choices that youve brought tremendous pain upon yourself and others. Let her go & find someone who will respect you & your feelings especially since she done you wrong & is the reason you feel the way you do! Unfortunately there was plenty more of this type of crying to come. But Im stupid for staying with someone who would leave their wife to begin with Without trust you have nothing to build upon. I do now realize I tried sooo hard. I am also feeling better because he is showing more and mors signs of commitment. Over 30 years of marriage where I loved him so deeply. He went on a business trip with her and lied to me about the destination and told me he was alone. but why am I so stupid to forgive him again? Remember that our children learn from experiences, teach them to respect themselves, respect other and to make sure others respect them. Will he forget about her. Alumnus. Im sick of it! I had been dealing with a lot of illness, but he had a porn addiction prior to for several years before I even became ill. Never fight. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. And he was having all of the symptoms of a midlife crisis, including the affair that I didnt know at the time. Alumna, Betrayed. I feel truly broken. everything I wanted15 years ago has been destroyed. If you played hard to get in the beginning of your past relationship, this made him want you more.. Never mix work and no wife knowing these woman without not talking or mentioning her ever about me ? Please fill out all required fields to submit your message. I slowly started dating but it was usually 1-2 times. In fact, nobody likes to be rejected. After having the baby he would pick a fight abat everything, i got virtually no help n still managed to take care of the baby and keep the house immaculate m dinner ready. googletag.pubads().enableSingleRequest(); '&l='+l:'';j.async=true;j.src= Nevertheless, I was angry at what I was having to go through, due to my own choices and I was angry that I had put myself in this position. Im guessing that right now apologetic words and acts of contrition are not helping you let go and move on. There was another night a week or so later that I woke up in the middle of the night and he was gone. i knew something was wrong. $('.headMenuLinksMob').hide(); His wife didnt love him till there was someone else. Im still healing when he was with someone else back in 2013. $('.submenu').hide(); I am so sorry. Why Do Guys Stop Talking to You After You Reject Them - Dating Tips For He liked her for the immaturity factor, because with her, he didnt have to be anything. The following month I found out I was pregnant and he continued with the relationship. I dont know what to do. The first two days after I learned my husband cheated were probably the worst 2 days of my life . We were married for 3 years and his behavior towards me started to change. Alumna. One of the hardest things is letting go, realizing I dont have any control over what he says or does that I only have control over myself so right now that is what I am trying to focus on. Counselling, written apology hasnt helped, he wont be honest about it. }); OceanGate CEO Said Titan Built With Old Boeing Material: Would-Be Passenger Are you stuck on the message, I didnt deserve this. 11 surprising ways a guy feels when you ignore him So we ended quitting on having a baby but he secretly wanted one which was another factor of him being depressed.this time i was going on my deployment and he wanted to start trying all over again but me being disappointed at the time gave up that dream even though I wanted it just as bad as him. MERE, Thank you very much for sharing. Before that he had sexual relationships with other girls also. If a guy loves you and you reject him, how much longer will he - Quora The womans Sister tells me that he goes to the womans house to see the baby but when I ask him he swears he has never been to see the child ever. I care about him; as he is the father of my children and has been here to help me through a lot of stuff like when my cousin died and I lost my best friend, but I dont feel I can trust him again in the way that I could before. I found out 3 months ago that my husband had been cheating. Im trying so hard to keep my composure and keep smiling through this heart ache. I honestly didn't think he was being 100% serious because he would always say how he will confess 100 times a week to wait for me to say yes. Im glad I moved on. By the time I'd finally changed my attitude, my angel wife had become an angry monster. I only wanted honesty. He refuses counseling, talking and reacts with anger when the issues come up. They were very hard to manage they would threaten to kill each other lie steal. Now I see What you were seeing , feeling , etc. well its been gone for a long time I had become distant and going through the motions for years before his recent confessions because I knew what was happening and he was denying . that I can find and it is helping me cope with angry, betrayal, fears, anxiety etc. Put yourself first if you can. What do I do? "You have to let go at some point in order to move forward." Between no sleep and I looked like I had been beaten because my eyes were so swollen from crying I couldnt exactly go into the office. I dont know how to move past this. Secondly, coming to what the guy said to you. But I refuse to let this situation keep me down. Hurtful yet private we are but not talking ever about me ? Why continue lying once youve been found out. I was screaming, raged and in disbelief. I dont believe much of anything he says. I dont know what to do anymore. This may be the key to seeing what your fianc does .You will begin to see her actions as if she agrees to moving out this May be a good thing as she will show you how she acts in the future with professing her Love for you as well as tell you She wants You Only ( not her friend ) Should matter while you both work on your commitment with one another because No guy wants another guy calling his fianc as your (engagement is a serious step ) along with your already together ( living together too ) So no male friend should want to mess with an already committed couple with him ( this male friend whom kissed her or whatever because THIS IS NOT OKAY FOR YOUR SAKE OR HERS TO KEEP THIS GUY STILL AROUND AFTER WHAT JUST HAPPENED ! Its all day long. And you shouldnt have to. I too am struggling with wanting my fiance to truly feel and understand the pain he has caused me. but he still works with her. It Took a lot of fighting and anger with hurt for him to see and even understand my Hurt with My Marriage Was feeling also I felt Over yet Today is a good day! I rarely got mad or yelled at him, even though we would get angry and argue it had always been respectfulno name-calling, personal insults, etc. I can go on and on about this. I was gone away from him for several months i kept in contact with him and all. Im just curious as to how your marriage is holding up now. I live pretty much the same. He continually lied about aspects of their relationship. So, you are faced with a choice. Signs he's ignoring you because you hurt him 1) He's voiced a problem before If he's flagged up a certain behavior or issue that's an issue for him quite recently, then this could be a likely source of tension that is causing him to ignore you now. I feel so angry at times and want to give up on our relationship because I dont feel the energy to fight for us anymore. js = d.createElement(s); How many people here have experienced guys getting really aggressive and aggravated when you explain to them that you do not like them back in the same way they do to you? she said he had told her he was single! My problem was/is that I wanted and longed for what we had before his affair. width: 1em !important; And then I waved goodbye to him and went home. We have been married for 23 years now, but 2 months after our wedding, he cheated on me with his ex girlfriend he claimed he doesnt loved. My Ex Boyfriend Ignores Me Completely (10 Reasons Why) But from what I read and pics I saw, it was a very long and deep affair and he said they broke up months ago. I have been so depressed and have been on medication. My life was my kids and I focus all my energy to giving them a stable life and found ways to cope and hide the problems of my marriage. Alumna. Oh god, the paranoia! Needless to say, my father was most unhappy and disappointed and initially said my husband would not be welcome at the house. My husband still thinks he did nothing wrong and that what happen between us was because of our relationship and all these years was an exaggeration on my part because he tried to deal with his feeling and his demons and but I made it difficult for him. It wasnt love like their relationship. I'll tell you what, it provokes me to want to stay on the straight and narrow and avoid tempting situations. All rights reserved. last nite as her anger grew I saw it in her eyes the look of total hatered. Blessings to you and yours. He is showing you that you're not worth his time otherwise. I will never unsee all of these things he said to her and knowing what all he did with more than just her. He is not even ready to completely come clean with the affair or attend counselling. It is his loss. I completely lost it and ripped all his clothes on him and threw his clothes outside and made him go bare foot he cried so bad but I didnt care but got sensitive later and we slept separatelyour second year being married was hell and his mother made it worse for me. I do my best to care for them as well as my daughter I feel like a solo mother of 4 I do everything home work bathing cook clean headlice but my partner still continues to hang around other women he says he has never had sex with these women he just cant do it to me that he loves me I have no proof but hes the only 1 telling me off these accounts or women for him there like friends but hes always cutting it off and a new women will appear in his stories I have people I can ask but I dont want them to think Im stupid if I dont find anything, or tell him coz he will get angry. All rights reserved. Do not make use of the Fool's Golden Rule. i gave in to his love words and he touched me and i melted we had sex.. it was great because i love him deeply. Having an open conversation with your husband about the time you need to work through your thoughts and feelings can be helpful. I found several secret cell phone on husband. And what do I tell this other women who loves him but doesnt want to cause any problems if they can fix it. ^ Praying ^ for you all ! You can find out more about domestic violence here: A great counselor can not only help you figure all of that out as well as help you process that rage that you feel and determine if staying connected is ultimately the journey that you want to take with this person. I've seen how Hollywood glamorizes and glosses over marital affairs. I cry every day because of the things she has said to me. Please dont stop persuing her. Every time I discovered another situation I asked for a divorce or tried for a separation with husband. by march 22 she stopped and all calls.and texts stopped from her. Sounds like my husband.. exactly like my husband. How long if so. Thank you for your reply. When we experience rejection, our first instinct is often to put as much distance as possible between us and the source of that rejection. Unfaithful. But he he enjoyed the attention of other women. They claim she came to where we lived, across the state 3 times and had sex. im still so angry and I have my moments of acting out of my character im still so hurt and he doesnt understand the pain it just wont go away I feel like he will do it again I want to trust him but im to afraid to let my guard down How do I let this go and be happy I try to hide the pain behind things I dont let him see me cry im always on edge im angry how do I let it go, So beautifully penned down. He barely showed up for our session but he came at the last minute. He is not your now. What happened in your case? He admitted it and he said sorry and he promise he will never do that again.. Reddit, Inc. 2023. Our oldest sons birthday was approaching and I am not sure what happened, but he started to apologize for being so horrible, saying he would never forgive himself and would I please rethink the divorce. He no longer belongs to me and as far as I am concerned no longer sacred. Now Its trouble in spades. i pulled her hair really good and slapped her. My husband and I went from being on the same page for the most part as far as child rearing, discipline, etc. 3 months ago I discovered that my husband was lying to me. box-shadow: none !important; We keep things cordial we laugh and play with the kids take them out like were a family. I really dont understand whats in his mind Im at that point that I have so much anger in me. The thought of seeing the person he cheated with again was horrible. I cannot believe how similar our stories are. It was the reason to fix my marriage give us a whole new life and kids would have their Dadddy. Thanks for listening it is very therapeutic to get it out, in some ways putting it out there relinquishes some of the power it has over me. I left to walk to my moms house who lives just down the street. What role he had in the society, and then said do you have any thing to say. Of course he turned it against me and said he knew all along or had a funny feeling and that was the reason he decided to cheat 10 years later but then he confessed to another affair of someone who worked for him and said too, that that was probably because he had a funny feeling. He had always known the score, cheating was the one sin which would never be forgiven, and we both agreed on thatI really feel for you though because you have given him a chance to make things right, but I am so sorry to say, he doesnt seem to want that chance. Not even a full 3 weeks of marriage he takes off on me to go drinking and slept with some homewrecker.who is known for being one who gets around. Didnt take long for my husband to start calling me and begging me to come back. that he does not believe in love an. I found out right before we went through IVF . I cant get it out of my head. He acted super distant and pouty that night. I think it is fear plus an acceptance that you think you must not be good enough to deserve better. She is the total opposite from me, I have long black hair, dress up for work in heels and makeup, (my husband says it turns him on) weekends I wear jeans or workout gear. I listened to him and he went to work and waited for him to come home, which he did but barely stayed he said he was going to his friends house for a brief moment I told him I was going to cook and have dinner ready and we made love and he kissed me goodbye. We talked about our issues and I felt so bad what the things my husband was saying because he never gotten over the issue with my exes and how i treated him like trash which I do admit that I had my fair share of hurting my husband with my words. }); I feel ill everyday, We have been together for 19 years. I lost my mind started smoking drinking crying profusely everything the whole nine yards. I am definitely not a priority. i tried to get in his car. Dont let sex be the glue that binds you together. is my partner cheating? Hes lying about it, too. I could never leave because I have no financial way to support myself until school is over. I cant believe he did that Im soo hurt , but Im even more angry Its scary to think that I trusted him so much and he turned out to be so different after I found the note he had written to another female denying our relationship. He is a changed man and wants to be up front with me and wants to bring joy and happiness in to my life.
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